i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish i was in the wii world.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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