Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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