Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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