We're facebook friends in real life
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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