no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
