make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The power of my boobs compel you
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
