Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
