She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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