Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
