You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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