And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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