Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I am available for nakedness
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
