Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
