Little spoons don't ask big questions
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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