I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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