The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
