I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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