Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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