she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
