Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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