hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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