i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
