there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
