dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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