Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
