walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
