Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
