i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
