were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
