Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
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Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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