i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
its not stalking. its research.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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