is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Damn victory sex feels great
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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