worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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