is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
