so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?