2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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