So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
