i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
