just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
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Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
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Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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