At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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