I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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