I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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