I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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