My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
