He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
