So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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