i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize