Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
my liver is dry heaving
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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