Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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