I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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