We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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