Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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