how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
