Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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