i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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