i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
