If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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