I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
