Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
