I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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