3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
