Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
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Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
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Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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