Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
