Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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