We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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