need another drink. this is the easiest way
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
